It’s Sunday afternoon and it suddenly downs on me that this weekend is almost over. It’s not like I am not happy to go back to work (quite opposite, actually, because this is my second months at PayPal and I finally feel like I know what I am doing 🙂 ). It’s just a feeling of having expected a bit more from this weekend, and not quite living up to the expectations.
I call it my Sunday afternoon blue, and when it happens, the best piece of advice I give to myself is to do something meaningful or memorable. Something that would convince me, I had a good time (and not just slept too long, made a salad, did a facial, paid some bills, cleaned a cabinet and liked 10 friends’ updates on Facebook). I want every day to be special and I want to be in awe of something amazing happening to me and people around me.
30 years ago, when I was growing up in a small town near Murmansk, our school teachers told us, that the advantage of communism was in its predictability and equality of people. In the West, they said, some people were very poor and some very rich, there was a gap between them and they almost never talked to each other; the poor had no roof over their head and could not afford medical help, because the rich were selfish and greedy. We should have been grateful to our Soviet state for the small apartment and free schools and free hospitals and that (most important) that there was no war. We shouldn’t be asking for more, because then we would be no better than the immoral western rich people, who drank campaign every day and went to the beautiful parties wearing diamonds and shamelessly exploited the working class.
And I hated the complacency of it. I did not hate it politically (not yet at least), I hated it esthetically – lack of dreams, bold ideas, choices, inspiration. It’s so easy to follow the vicious circle of duties, errands, appointments, chores and excuses of having no energy for anything else. Yes, it is definitely very honorable to do your duties, clean your house and pay your bills. But it can’t be it. It’s not the most moral or the most ethical way to spend your life. It’s a cheat, actually. It’s the same soviet limited logic: do the minimum and never ask for more. It is much more difficult to have that energy, drive and curiosity to look beyond and ask for excitement. There is still some time left this Sunday, I got my inspiration, one bold idea I want to try, and I wish you to experience something wonderful too.